The Archive

It seems that my misreading of headlines continues to enliven even the dullest of stories. I though this one, ‘my baby name panic’ actually read:

My baby named Panic.

As a  big fan of the movie A Town Called Panic (highly recommended, but not for the faint of imagination), I loved the idea of this.

“ah, what’s he called.”

“Panic.”

“Oh. Right,” sidles away slowly.

Ok, some would say it might lead to a bit of playground bullying – but everyone gets bullied eventually, right? So at least they’ll have a good idea about what they’ll get bullied for in advance, unlike those poor souls surprised by some randomly determined playground groupthink – “Look how long his eyelashes are. Longlash, longlash, you’re a stupid longlash. 

And it’s a great name for fans nominative determinism too (and who isn’t. Do you think the Chairman of Lloyds Banking Group Sir Win Bischoff would have made it that far if his parents had called him Fail Bischoff?).  

With a name like Panic, who knows what the kid would end up doing? Air traffic controller? Heart surgeon?