Lunge time over
I have bought a new battery for my laptop.I know, I know, and the Laptop Lunge sounded like such fun right? Problem was, it really started to get boring after the battery reached a life of less than a second - I just couldn't stand the repeated losing.
So, the new battery arrived today, and in my excitement I tore open the box to find that, in addition to the battery itself, it comes with a handy sheet of instructions that includes the following advice:
Never expose the battery pack to direct sunlight. Ooh, good warning. I could see myself doing that. Thanks battery company.
Never disassemble the battery pack. Sounds reasonable. I could see myself 'having a quick look' if unwarned.
Never expose the battery pack to any liquid. Good advice again.
Never drop or throw the battery pack. Hmm, ok, dropping I understand, but was I really going to throw the battery pack? Why? Did I forget to take a frisbee to the park but had a laptop handy? I'm not convinced.
Never throw the battery pack into fire. Sorry what? I wasn't sure why I'd be throwing my battery pack at all, now you're specifically warning me not to chuck it in a fire? What am I an, idiot?
Never hammer a nail into the battery pack. Apparently yes, I am an idiot. (And yes, it genuinely says that).
What I find particularly intriguing is that they opted to advise me against hammering a nail into the battery pack, yet say nothing against running over the pack with a car, chipping it across my lawn with a golf club, swinging it around my head tied clumsily to a length or rope, firing it out of a circus cannon or any of the many, many other things it would never occur to me to do with a battery pack.
We are forced to conclude, then, that this warning exists because someone, somewhere actually thought it was a good idea to hammer a nail into their battery pack, and when informed that this would indeed kill the thing, then also presumably complained to the company 'well there was nothing in the instructions to tell me not to hammer a nail into it' and then demanded a refund.
I wonder if he got it.
posted by Peter The Great @ 10:27 PM
4 Comments:
Please give my warmest regards to Sammy & wish him all the best now he's on the road to recovery. And pass on this personal message: -
"010010 100011 1111010101000 101010010101 1100101 1010101 11110010101"
Oh dear, does it say anything in the instructions about whether or not it's a good idea to let your parents' dog use one's battery pack as a chew toy?
If they suggest not, then I'll have to take something else for Hamish on my next visit.
I'm thinking of 'investing' in (that would be 'spending a shedload of money on', then) my very own Sammy Samsung (Sammy Jnr?). Is battery life an issue with Samsungs generally? Or is it just your appalling treatment of your particular machine?
Firing it out of a circus cannon would be OK as long at you're aiming at a legitimate military target. They should have warned against chewing or swallowing it though.
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