Talking Turkey
I have finally booked this year's lads' holiday. Huzzah!We have rather brilliantly decided to go to Turkey. During August. In the hottest summer for years.
Don't worry though, we're sure to have a great time boozing and pulling birds.
Oh, and it's smack in the middle of Ramadam.
Oh dear.
Never mind, I'm sure our brand of charm - staggering drunkenly around the streets of Istambul shrieking 'let's go Ottomental' will be taken in the spirit of fun with which it is intended.
posted by Peter The Great @ 8:20 PM
6 Comments:
Don't worry Mr The Great, Dr Terror has many friends in the legal profession who I'm sure will be happy to help if, sorry, when you get into trouble with the natives.
Summer hols... such excitement! Dr Terror and I are vey much looking forward to our romantic fortnight in Afghanistan.
Come to Thailand. It has even more to offer than ladyboys I tried to tempt you with. It has lovely things like ping pong, and other disturbing tricks.
PS Also, because I am amazing at keeping my stuff together, I am now sans phone. So only text if you actually would quite like to text one of the hostels I was at in Cambodia.
Having availed ourselves of Dr Terror's find-a-foreign-lawyer service, family Pug can vouch for his promtness and efficiency. It'll be fine...
As I have said elsewhere, I predict the phrase "It's supposed to be a secular country" will be much in use as we stagger around in the sweltering heat of various more-or-less Islamic cities, unable to acquire booze or, during daylight hours, even the most basic of foodstuffs.
Today's 'WV' is 'veliciv' which may well be the Turkish word for how quickly we will be stoned to death by an angry Islamic mob after one or other of us has inadvertently insulted the Prophet.
Well, I think you're all very brave Mr Orange.
My friend who lives in Dubai said that buying alcohol or pork products there is very much like buying class A drugs anywhere else. She outlined to me the general process for buying 'un-Islamic' items, which had much to do with dark side alleys and boarded up shops. Plus the strict moral code and dearth of Ann Summers outlets meant she was forced to marry.
When I went to visit her there, I phoned to say I'd made it though passport control (narrowly - apparently they don't appreciate people who take offence at being asked questions and who shout 'But I'm English and I demand to be allowed in'). A frazzled voice on the other end of the phone yelled at me to go straight to duty free, buy as much wine as I could carry and she'd meet me outside...
Despite the lack of food and alcohol, I'm sure you all have a marvellous time!
I suspect there may be a lot of private hotel-based beer consumption. The policy of staying in Western chain hotels should stand us in good stead. Except for the fact I'm the only one who seems to have adhered to it ...
Then again, it is supposed to be a secular country ...
Today's WV: 'flarti' - a courtship ritual for those with a predilection for breaking wind during intercourse, perhaps? Either way, if it were a real word it would be a gift for cryptic crossword compilers.
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