The Archive

Leaflet

Apparently a pamphlet is being distributed to da kidz telling them that regular sex is good for you and you really ought to be masturbating twice a week.

Now I'm all for an open and frank disussion about sex with the younger generation - through the medium of a pamphlet I can just leave on a table and then run off and let's never, never, talk of this again.

But one of the main things I remember about being a child was being absolutely certain that regular sex would be absolutely bloody marvellous. It was the finding of a real-life partner who was willing to do it with me that proved the challenge.

And masturbating twice a week? Twice a week? That doesn't sound nearly enough to me. Come on, these are teenagers we're talking about. In the case of boys at least, they can barely be exposed to a strong breeze without triggering a hard-on you could hang a towel off.

Mind you, the leaflet apparently also carries the slogan, "an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away". so I guess there's wiggle room on the frequency issue.

Although perhaps an even more honest slogan would go "An orgasm a day doesn't need to keep the doctor away because he no longer does house calls so could you please make an appointment between 10.30 am and 4pm, Tuesday to Friday. But don't let that stop you on the orgasm front though."

Anyway, I think the point I'm trying to make here is that everyone should have more sex - ideally available on the NHS.

I'm booking my appointment now.

posted by Peter The Great @ 9:46 AM