The Archive

Penis post

Well, I know it's lazy, but it's hard to resist this story.

This is a hell of a good news/bad news story.

Good news. Your attractive young secretary wants to give you a blow job in your car.

Bad news. A subsequent mid-munch collision causes her to bite your cock off.

Good news. There's a bystander right there ready to call an ambulance.

Bad news. That bystander is a private detective hired to find out if you're having an affair.

Mind you, I suppose it would make a change from the usual movie scenario...

Wife: "So, did you find anything."

Detective: "Yes." (he hands over a jiffy bag).

Wife: "What's this, photos I suppose?"

Detective: "No. It's his knob."

Wife: "Wow. That saves me a job. You get a big productivity bonus. Well done."

(Everyone laughs.)

Mind you, I do take issue with one element of this report...

"To make matters worse, the pair had been followed to the park by a private detective"

To make matters worse? How exactly did they think the dude was going to explain the bitten-off penis to his wife if a detective hadn't been there?

"Terrible day at work today honey. There I was, minding my own business, when my trouser leg got caught in the franking machine, unexpectedly pulling them down.

And wouldn't you just know it, that was the exact moment my secretary slipped on some loose paper clips. She opened her mouth to scream her alarm just as I turned to face her and she fell right onto my penis.

Obviously, she tried to shut her mouth to avoid this terrible situation, but it was badly timed and this, combined with the momentum of her fall resulted in her biting my penis clean off."

"Shall I call Claims Direct, or will you?"

posted by Peter The Great @ 3:24 PM