The Archive

Today's new joke

What splendid times we are living in. It used to be that I could never, ever get a seat on the train.

But now I've started wearing a sombrero to work, a couple of coughs and I've got a whole carriage!

I must say, I am thoroughly enjoying the reporting of Swine Flu.

"40% of world set to die!"

"160 suspected deaths." (suspected deaths? You mean you're not sure. Try pinching them. If the go 'ow' = not dead.",

"Pigs in 'you don't eat us, we'll kill the infidel' alliance with Al Quaeda".

All good stuff. Oh, there's probably a joke in there about Swine Flu being just another name for Man Flu, but I can't think of it right now, so you're on your own.

Personally though, my favourite story of the week has to be the low flying Air Force One over Manhattan publicity stunt. I don't really have the joke, I just love the idea of some publicist sitting around a table going "you know what people love? Air shows. So let's fly a jet low over Manhattan. They'll love it!"

CUT TO: INSIDE AIR FORCE ONE
The PR Person looking down on the people of Manhattan.

"There you go. I told you they'd love it. Listen to the excited screaming. This Public Relations thing is a piece of cake."

picks up phone

"What do you mean, fired?"

posted by Peter The Great @ 2:15 PM