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Flower, hair etc

I have arrived in San Francisco.

It was not a trip without it's tricky moments. Particularly when I arrived at the airport in Palm Springs to be told

"Due to high winds last night, the planes did not land here. So were going to bus you to where they did land."

"OK, and where was that?"

"Ontario."

"Um, isn't that in Canada?"

Fortunately not, for there is also an Ontario a mere hour away in California, so I made it to SF with only a few lost hours.

Oh, although there was one slightly odd exchange with the security people when searching my bag.

"Do you have anything sharp in here sir?"

"Well, there are a couple of razors there,"

"Those aren't sharp."

Oh, right. And I'd been given to understand that razors were almost proverbially sharp. I have, however, learned my lesson and kept my smart mouth to myself.

I'm staying with some friends of Mark's whilst I'm here, so whilst I was waiting for them to get home, I schlepped around the city drinking local beer (it's a sight, I'm telling you) watching, er, European Championship football (ok, I'll give you that one) but also sightseeing.

And I have learned these things...

1. For San Francisco, take a Southern Californian city, find 'Mexican' replace with 'Chinese'. Job done.


2. There are quite surprising numbers of homeless here. That or I've forgotten what it's like in a proper city.


3. Pier 39 and Fisherman's Wharf are horrible, Blackpool-esque tourist holes. Avoid.


4. Although they do have some interestingly specific stores, including Sock Heaven (which, confusingly, did not appear to stock any socks) and Magnet Kingdom (hmm, "A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse." "What kingdom's that?" "Magnet Kingdom." "Oh fuck off.").


5. San Francisco is currently in a face-off with the Feds about allowing the use of medical marijuana. The city allows it and so at the back of the paper you get adverts for places that will sell you dope, as long as you have a doctor's note.


6. ...and next to these adverts is an advert for a doctor offering 'compassionate' diagnoses for your medical marijuana-requiring ailments.


7. I'm pretty sure I've got a glaucoma coming on.


8. This is an excellent city in which to gain altitude. I do recommend a gin and tonic at the Top of the Mark bar, which has beautiful views and don't seem to mind if you linger for hours yet only buy one drink.


9. Everyting marked with a red dot on the map from the hotel is not necessarily worth seeing. The Cannery, for example, is a shopping centre. Rubbish.


10. The people I'm living with have a place in Haight Ashbury, the one-time home of the counterculture movement in the '60s. From the look of it, it is now the centre of the over-the-counter culture movement. (see what I did there? Because it's all Baby Gap gentrified and so.. ok, forget it then).

OK, that's it for now. See ya later.

posted by Peter The Great @ 5:38 PM