End of an era
It is with great sadness and a tear in my eye that I must make an announcement to you all.From the end of May, Pugsley Rackman, evil Landowner and overlord of Bullen Pissen Towers, is cruelly evicting me and Dean from our beloved home.
Thus ends an era marked by joy and sadness, drinking and shouting, drinking and vomiting, drinking and more drinking, and Risk.
No more will hordes of middle aged men, supposedly old enough to know better, gather in the living room to enjoy cheap wine, stale jokes, cruelty to our fellow man and Wig flicking through the music channels like a toddler on Sunny D.
No more will BPT resonate with the sound of murmured conversations about how to get that stain out before Pugsley comes up again.
No more will the street enjoy the dulcet tones of the smoke alarm telling us the toast is ready, followed by the hallowed chorus...
'Turn it off.'
'I'm trying.'
'push that button.'
'it doesn't do anthing.'
'Get the batteries out then.'
'I'm pulling the cover but nothing's...' CRUNCH. 'Oh, I guess it was attached to the mains'.
(which, if you're reading this Pugsley, may go some way to explaining why it is currently dangling by the power cord about 3 inches below its orginal ceiling fitting.)
So, it is a dark day indeed. But, on the plus side...
PARTY!!!
Yes, we will be having a 'goodbye to all that' BPT combination party and wake.
I forget the date, sometime at the end of May I think, Mads, can you confirm in the comments?
The location, obviously, will be BPT.
Dress code: Wear black. Or if you can't wear black due to fashion impairment (Wig), a black armband will be acceptable. No black, no entry. Unless you've got booze. Or are a girl.
If you are a girl AND have booze, you can come along any day you want and we'll let you in.
And if you're an attractive girl with booze, you can do whatever the hell you like. Burn the place down for all we care.
Meanwhile, I must find a new home, and given that it's likely Flatmate Dean is abandoning me for some ridiculous notion of 'having a life' I may have to go it alone.
What this means is that I am looking at a room tonight in a flat shared by 2 others, during which I shall cleverly pretend to be a normal, well adjusted human being so they let me live there.
Then, once I'm in and it's all too late, I shall reveal my true self.
Mwa ha ha ha ha! (twirls moustache)
Meanwhile, do you have a favourite story or anecdote from BPT? Dr Terror snapping his spine then being dragged up the stairs by his arms? The infamous 'Gub The Pug' Risk victimisation day? The one-on-one fight between me and the washing machine?
Why not share it with us in the comments (warning: Mature content likely)?
posted by Peter The Great @ 2:24 PM
6 Comments:
There is a possibility of a temporary stay of execution: Dr Terror has indicated that it might not be necessary to evict you until the end of June. If that helps...
I think I suggested the final Saturday of May (30th) but if the eviction is to be delayed, then the wake could be held on 13th June instead. Up to you, I guess.
PS Did I mention that I will really miss you?
For the love of God, don't torch the gaff before I've even started on it!
I will be in attendance to make sure that things don't get out of hand...
Don't do the last w/e in May! Or the first w/e in June! or the w/e of 19/20 June! You know the farewell to BPT piss up wouldn't be the same without some naked chess ...
Oh dear, looks like it is up to you to confirm the date, Mr the Great... Mandarin is right: it really wouldn't be the same without naked chess...
It's a sad, sad day. My only consolation is that I'm due to get a life shortly, so will have an outside chance of saying farewell to the place.
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