The Archive

Attack of the 7 foot penis

Yesterday a seven foot tall penis gave me some condoms and lube.

I'm not sure what his intent was, but if it was sexual, there wasn't nearly enough lube in that little tube.

I'm kidding of course. He was, in fact, some kind of anti-syphilis campaign that's been running in the city.

Of course, this being San Francisco, there isn't just one penis. Oh no, this is an anti-discriminatory penis, with versions in black, white and latino. Although alarmingly, the latin penis seems to have a little beard.

And I know what you're thinking, you stereotypers, but the black one is just the same size as the others.

Still, he seemed like a nice giant penis, as these things go.

Sadly, I was supposed to be meeting up with SaucyBroad last night (she of the rather good and politically aware burlesque. Also nice boobs) but due to the fact that she has snapped her spine clean in two (or something) she was actually constrained to bed.

So instead I just did a bit of a bar crawl around the Mission district, which included:

Tornado bar, where they had a absolutely classic barmaid of the 'seen it all, tired of life' school. She was cranky, never smiled but was absolutely excellent at her job, serving about a million people all in the right order.

Casanova lounge, which had paintings of topless women on black velvet on the walls. Mmmmm, topless women.

Elbo Room, where I got discounted entry based on the fact that I was dressed 'semi formal'. The first and probably last time that's ever going to happen.

And finally, a snippet of conversation that sums up why I love this city...

Me: "hi, could you tell me where I could go for a drink and a dance?"

Bouncer: (gives a couple of suggestions)

Me: "OK, but are they nice and friendly?"

Bouncer: "The whole neighbourhood is friendly, man."

posted by Peter The Great @ 5:08 PM