The Archive

Drunk slip every trip

Every time I begin to think I might be drinking a bit too much, I come across a story like this.

This is a story in which a drunk driver attempts to outrun the law (a bold gambit to start with, given that he's already proven incapable of driving at normal speeds wthout weaving all over the road).

But that's all pretty standard drunk logic. Nothing to reassure me there.

But wait, he then drives into a ditch. A bit better, but not amazing.

But there's more. He then tries to put the truck into Park before getting out and escaping Plod on foot... accidentally puts it into reverse, falls out of the vehicle and runs over his own legs.


I'll say that again... runs over his own legs.

Good lord, I thought you had to be a member of a has-been boy band to achieve that kind of foolishness level, but no. In fact, the chaps native stupidity appears to have been aided by the odd drink.

Police found a half gallon of vodka on the urine-soaked seat of the truck.

Now I've made some drunken errors in my time, but I like to think that if I ever got to the state of actually weeing myself, I'll admit I may, just possibly, be a teensy bit over the legal driving limit.

And as for buying Vodka in half-gallons. Well, you'd have to ask yourself some questions, surely.

UPDATE. Just to be sure, I've done a quick online conversion and discovered that half a gallon is approximately 1.9 litres. Wow. Next time I throw a Bring A Bottle party, that's the bottle I'm going to specify.

posted by Peter The Great @ 1:50 PM