The Archive

Thick skin

Just watched a report about the rhino. Apparently their numbers are increasing and they are starting to become less endangered. Obviously all that marathon running has done them good.

There then featured a profile of the Kenyan Rhino catching squad.

First up, how awesome a job is that? Great for introducing yourself at parties.

"So, what do you do?"
"I'm a plumber."
"Oh, nice, and you?"
"I'm a systems analyst."
"Right. Sounds fascinating. You?"
"I'm a rhino catcher."
"Would you like to go outside and get some air?"

But it gets better. A helicopter flies around looking for rhino. When they find it, they shoot it with a tranquiliser dart and the team moves in in Land Rovers. Vets give the animal the once over and they drill a hole in the horn into which they place a transmitter so they can track the animal.

So, let's go back to the Rhino Bar for a moment.

Rhino Barry: "Hey, what's up mate? You look rough."

Rhino Neil (sorry): "Oh mate, you wouldn't believe it. I woke up this morning with a terrible headache."

Barry: "Oh yeah, been on the booze again have you?"

Neil: "No mate. It was amazing. I was running around the savannah and suddenly, there's this bright light in the air above me.

Then I feel a sharp pain in the back of my neck and everything goes black. Next thing I know I'm surrounded by these weird little pale beings with huge eyes.

One of them is sticking a probe up my arse and I'm pretty sure they've inserted a tracking device in my head."

Barry: "Oh come on mate. Not this old story again. And I suppose they wanted you to take them to your leader did they? Pull the other one."

Neil: "It's true mate. I promise."

Barry: "Get real Neil or soon everyone will be laughing at you like they do Crazy Colin."

Neil: "Good point. Is he still claiming strange creatures from above stole his horn to help them have sex with each other?"

Barry: "Yup."

Neil: "Nutter."

posted by Peter The Great @ 5:26 PM