The Archive

Bashful, Dopey, Grumpy, Happy,Sleepy, Sneezy and Chav

It's a great day for equalities as a member of the little people community proves that they are just like everyone else, and can be hollywood movie stars or drunken thieving bastards.

Apparently, the 22 year-old-dwarf was being used by a gang for his ability to, well, be very small I guess.

Unfortunately, the criminal masterminds a) decided the best profits from a life of crime would come from the theft of scrap metal and b) forgot that their resident dwarf was actually a drunken liability.

To the extent that the cheeky chappie was absolutely hammered, whilst robbing a house!

When police were called to a disturbance at a house in Newcastle in May, the 22-year-old promptly poked his head through a broken panel in the front door.

'He helped himself through the hole and was arrested. He was very drunk and said if the police hadn't arrived he would have stolen the copper.

Come on dude, get drunk after a successful raid maybe, but not during the big job.

It goes on...

'When asked about the scrap metal lying around the house, he couldn't remember anything about it but said he probably would have stolen that too,'

He really doesn't seem to have a full grip on his situation does he?

It makes me so sad when people go wrong like this. He could have made good money, just by being a dwarf. He didn't have to study, learn a skill or anything.

A good dwarf can get £500 a day just for wandering about being much, much smaller than everyone else, and probably a whole lot more than that at Christmas.

And who knows how much they can pocket for a night of tossing (ooer)?

And that's before we even consider the possibilities of dwarf porn.

And yes, it's a freakshow, but at least it doesn't land you in chokey, does it?

On the plus side, it does remind me of the time Ben and I saw a dwarf in Wimbledon and Ben was extremely excited to see that he was smoking.

Now if that isn't a warning to others, I don't know what is.

posted by Peter The Great @ 8:26 AM