The Archive

Day 2 - morning

We awoke, still in New York and ready for some proper sightseeing.

But first, a spot of light breakfast. Well, brunch.

Oh ok, it was basically lunch time. It was time for lunch. Are you happy now?

Fortunately, there was a diner right opposite the hotel that we dragged ourselves over to.

We placed our orders. A sandwich here, a salad there. Nothing too filling, you know.

Which is why we were all rather surprised when the waiter (a Mexican't fellow) brought each of us out a plate about the size of the new Wembley stadium, heaped with food.

And fries. So many fries.

Thus began our 10,000 calories a day holiday diet. Which also explains why I am now going to the gym like a man possessed.

We made what progress we could on the meal, and Wig even got them to pack up half of his pulled pork sandwich for later consumption.

Thus fortified, and after convincing Wig that it would be both quicker AND cheaper to take the subway, we bundled underground and popped up in Battery Park, ready to see that most American of icons, Lady Liberty.

Unfortunately, there was a massive queue for the sight. No matter, we decided to stick it out, passing the time by wondering exactly what "Doctor Playground" was all about.

Doctor Playground was the name on the side of a shabby old van that was parked up beside the children's playground in the park.

You know the van that the cockroach drives in the movie Men in Black? Yeah, it was like that. Scary.

And besides the name, the truck was also painted with images of hacksaws, drills and various other power tools.

Nice.

Let's just hope Dr Playground was nothing more than a chap with a PhD in children's swingset construction shall we?

Fortunately we were distracted from these thoughts by being quarantined in a giant tent, where we waited for the boat with a milling hubbub of hundreds of people. In fact, it all looked suspiciously like the West Bank and we were a mass of refugees.

This feeling wasn't helped any when the boat finally came in.

Instead of a fishy on a dishy, what we got was a handful of angry Tourist Wranglers who got really agitated, herding us up the gangplank like it were the last evacuation boat out of town.


“Keep moving up the ramp”
“C’mon, don’t stop”
“Turn right at the top."
"C'mon, c'mon. Let's go people."

We managed to crowd onto the boat and found ourselves standing on the top deck as we cut through the choppy waters towards the copper beacon of freedom before us (this sentence brought to you by my sixth form writing self).

It was about now that we realized that it was actually bloody freezing. So whilst everyone else took snaps and listened to the audio guide to the monument, we sat around shivering and complaining about the cold.

Because we are quality tourists.

Fortunately, it wasn’t long before we arrived at Liberty Island. Hurrah!

“Erm, shall we just stay on the boat and go back,” ventured The Internet’s Adam Sherwin (I think it was him anyway. It could have been anyone).

There was a murmur of agreement.

And so we stayed exactly where we were as the boat turned around and headed back to civilization.

Keen to keep up the high level of sightseeing we had established, we wanted more.

Fortuntely, it was only a short walk to Ground Zero, where we looked at the giant building site (for such it is) and thought, “Ok, I’ve seen it.” Which is about all you can do there really.

Actually, I have to admit I like the plan they have for the site. They’re going to build a forest (can you build a forest? Why yes you can!) and in the footprint of the two building they’re making two kind-of pond things with waterfalls in the middle.

It’s hard to explain.

Anwyay, because nothing says ‘up yours, Osama’ like more very tall buildings, they’re creating a bunch of them around the central park site, to replace all the valuable business space that’s going to be taken up by trees.

Like this...



It’s very cool actually and I’m looking forward to seeing them go up. You can read all about it here.

So, after the WTC, it was round the corner to see Wall Street. Specifically, the bit of Wall Street that features in the Nickelback video for ‘Rock Star’.

Because we’re sad. That’s why.

The only problem with Wall Street is that although it is such an iconic place, it really is just a street.

Still, it was a site, so that gave us a full 3 sights for the day, clearing us to go straight to the pub.

And what a pub. Clearly the bar owners of the financial district know how to get suits to part with their money.

The woman who showed us to our table was very attractive. The waitress who then came over to serve us was a bit more attractive than that.

Turns out, they were the ugly members of the staffing team, which seemed to consist entirely of out-of-work supermodels.

Which was nice.

So, we had a drink and then it was clearly time to get back to the hotel for some dark time. After all, we’d been up for nearly 5 hours already.

posted by Peter The Great @ 1:36 PM