The Archive

Goodbye Bafana Redux

A PRISON. DAY

Nelson Mandela is sitting in the sun, reading philosophy.

GUARD 1 ENTERS.

I hate black people. (He hits Mandela, then pokes him with a sharp stick)

MANDELA

Your violence is only violence affecting your own spirit. I do not feel badly against you.

GUARD 1

You can stuff your quiet dignity you stupid Kaffir. (He slaps him hard around the face with an old shoe)

HERO GUARD ENTERS

I hate black people too. But I do have a sense of fair play.

GUARD 1

Good stuff Hero Guard. We'll be firm friends forever because we both hate black people.

MANDELA

You should consider not hating black people. (a dove flutters to feed from his outstretched hand).

HERO GUARD

Hmm, that's something to think about. Your quiet dignity is certainly impressive.

GUARD 1

No it isn't. (he wees into Mandela's morning coffee, pausing only to punch a passing elderly black nun, causing her to drop the baby she was carrying)

CUT TO

ANOTHER PRISON. TWENTY YEARS LATER

HERO GUARD

The situation in South Africa has certainly changed. And I like Mr Mandela now, probably because of his quiet dignity. Or because of the white hair that he now sports, looking suspiciously like poorly applied cotton wool.

THE PHONE RINGS

HERO GUARD ANSWERS

Hello? Yes, that's me. Oh God, my son's died. I knew there was too little conflict in this story.

MANDELA

I'm sorry your son died. Mine died too. We have so much in common. (A baby deer nuzzles his strangely white hair. A harp plays).

HERO GUARD

Yes, this really puts everything into perspective doesn't it. You know what, I don't think I hate black people at all now. Hurrah!

A GENERAL ARRIVES

We're letting Mr Mandela out. No hard feelings eh Nelson?

MANDELA

Not at all. I have endured my years in prison with quiet dignity. (A choir sings. Rabbits and lambs frolic around Mandela's feet)

MANDELA is released and, pausing only to save a baby from a burning orphanage. bring peace to the middle East and rustle up a quick cure for cancer, begins building a new South Africa.

THE END

posted by Peter The Great @ 8:52 PM