The Archive

Rumble strip

Everyone to your bunkers! Earthquake!

Yes, the nations ornaments have been devastated by a catastrophic temblor, which caused thousands of people to wake up at an unseemly hour, hundreds of chimney pots to plunge to the Earth and far too many office workers to use the 'did the Earth move for you' gag.

I realise that, being an earthquake, it's sort of news.

But really. "There was an earthquake. Some stuff got broken. It was quite surprising, given the rarity in this country."

There. News reported. Job done.

It does not, repeat not, require 45 minutes of coverage on BBC1. It does not, repeat not, require more than 1 (one) person to say 'It woke me up. The house was shaking, which it doesn't usually do."

Still, thanks to the Grauniad, we now know that ...

Alex Ferrier (22) thought, "It was quite scary." Also that a lot of people left their houses.

Alex's mother (Val) "ran downstairs." and that "the whole room was shaking". Ditto the Midlands and North of England.

Geoff Halsey (62) and his wife "jumped up". It is not clear whether or not they ran downstairs a la Mrs Ferrier. But on the plus side, Geoff did take the opportunity to note that "The pheasants started singing and other birds began to sing as well."

Because I was worried that the poultry point of view would be lost to history.

Paul Bates was surprised. "You just don't expect it." he said.

I concur.

Also,
The Guardian received calls from startled readers in London, Bedfordshire, Yorkshire, Manchester, Blackpool and Leicester.

Who are these people? What are they thinking?

"It's an earthquake being felt by approximately 30% of the nation. I'd better call the Guardian immediately or they will never find out about this. After all, I am startled and someone needs to know"

These people. Tsk.

posted by Peter The Great @ 7:20 PM