The Archive

I don't know, some pun about news and nudes I suppose

Big news day today.

The first nationalisation of an industry since the '70s (next stop, rubbish left uncollected and white dog poo back on the pavements. Also, do you think Alistair Darling should dye his hair black or peroxide his eyebrows white? I'm torn.). Kosovo declares independence (soon to be followed by Serbs on a hilltop, no doubt). An early draft of the dodgy dossier has been unearthed with the paragraph 'insert boilerplate re. nukes here' still intact.

So, what to talk about?

Of course, there can be only one choice.

Lindsey Lohan has posed naked.

Now I don't have much of an opinion about Lohan beyond 'quite good in the movies I saw, did well in the excellent Mean Girls and not as bonkers as Britney'. But I do like naked ladies.

And I know most of the readers of this blog are blokes, so here's the link chaps.

You can thank me later.

Meanwhile, Mo Fayed has been giving his balanced and reasonable testimony in the utterly pointless shedding of my tax dollars that is the inquest into Diana's death.

Diana told me on the telephone that she was pregnant," he told the inquest. "I was the only person that they told."


"All the witnesses who have been saying this are part of the cover-up and have been told what to say."

"There was one paparazzi member in the pay of the security services. This is likely to have been James Andanson, who exacted the murder in his own Fiat, pushed the car and a strobe light having been used to blind Henri Paul,"

Members of the British and French security services may have been part of the ambulance crew that took Diana to hospital to ensure she bled to death, Fayed claimed.

So, quick recap. The security services send a papparazo armed with a Fiat and a flashlight to blind and ram the driver of the car. Meanwhile, they rig an ambulance with more of their members just in case she survives.

Well, it's elaborate but effective I guess.

Fortunately, in case you thought his testimony thus far lacks colour, he went on to describe...

Parker Bowles as a "crocodile wife" and the Windsors as "that Dracula family", according to reports of his testimony by Sky News.

Fair and balanced I'd say.

I think we all know his next step.

Welcome to The Fayed Hour on Fox News. All ranting, all the time.

You heard it here first.

UPDATE: I've read lots of things about this recently and I have to add, although Fayed is pretty obviously talking bollocks, one should bear in mind that this is a man traumatised by the loss of his son.

Of course he's reaching out for answers. But it's our job as a society to tell him he ain't going to get them. Not to keep splaffing millions of our quid on a wild goose chase. Unless he has some actual proof, he needs to be told to let it go.

Sorry Mo, but there it is.

posted by Peter The Great @ 7:25 PM