The Archive

This one's dedicated to Frances

Gosh, it really has been a long time hasn't it?

Thing is I've started work back on another of Wig's crazy crackpot schemes (because nothing screams 'job security in an economic crunch' than a very short term contract right?

Tell me I haven't made a mistake someone. Please.

And I'm not the only one with a new job. Congratulations are due to Tony Blair and his new job with JP Morgan.

I don't actually remember seeing the role advertised on monster.com, but I'm sure he overcame a lot of other good applicants to get it.

Apparently the half a million quid a year job is strictly part time and he said was likely to be one of a number of similar private sector positions.

A number of similar private positions? How many jobs can he have? A £10,000 paper round, £5,000 a week doing Saturdays in John Lewis Homewares and a bit of night cabbing (which, if Wig is your main customer, could easily net you £20,000 a month)?

I realise it's difficult to get by on £500,000 a year and so many hardworking British families need to take on second jobs to pay the bills, I just never realised the beavery Blairs were among them.

Now the cynics among you might be thinking that he's cashing in on his political connections and is essentially selling out.

Well I say 'shame on you'. He is in fact just taking a job where he is to provide political and strategic advice and take part in some client events.

Yes, political and strategic advice from the man who thought 'I know, invading Iraq seems politically and strategically like a good idea. I'll do that'.

Good choice JP.

Personally I'd like to see JP Morgan really make the most of their money and do a Kid Creole (background - it has long been discussed among my friends that we pool our resources, hire Kid Creole and the Coconuts for the night and force them to play in Wig's living room - but making them play 'Stool Pigeon' again and again and again and again without respite. And then make them hoover the living room for the last half hour of the booking).

Point being, how cool would it be...

JP Morgan President: "Ah, there you are Mr Blair. All ready for the big event tonight?"
Bliar: "Um. Yes. I say to you. I am ready."
Pres: "Great. It'll just be the usual champagne and handshakes. And I'm sure Karen in Personnel told you about the suit."
Bliar: "The suit?"
Pres: "Yes. The chicken suit. We want you to wear a chicken costume and strut around the room clucking 'JP Morgan make you more than just chicken feed'. And dancing a little."
Bliar: "Erm. Yah. But I think, we are where we are but, um, and I say this in all sincerity, I don't want to do that."
Pres: "That's too bad Bliar. You want the money, you do the job. Now PUT ON THE DAMN SUIT!"

Now that would be worth half a million quid. I'd even chip in myself.

posted by Peter The Great @ 7:44 PM