Mattel me a story
This just in...Mattel toys has had to recall a further 500,000 products from their wide range of popular children's toys due to health and safety fears, they have announced this morning.
"The toys affected are very few in number," said a spokesman, "But our customers' safety is our foremost concern, so we are taking extra precautions."
Owners of 'My First Flamethrower', 'The Polonium Power Ranger' and "The L'il Razor Blade Factory' have been advised to return their products to store as some have been found to contain levels of cadmium above the 0.0005% level considered.
Similarly, 'Cutey the Unicorn' toys are also being recalled, as the Chinese factory had been using a rusty 6" nail for the horn.
"Obviously these are one-off errors," said the spokesman, "just like all the others. Please stop asking hard questions now. Please."
A spokesperson for the Chinese factory which manufactured the items commented, "So what if some things slip through the net? You get your cheap toys don't you? Jeez, give us a break, you can't expect small children to get it right every time can you?"
Meanwhile, the Council of Smug Guardian Readers and Meddlers responded, "It's disgraceful. I only give my children organic wooden educational toys, which makes me a better person than you. Although my kids do hate me."
Peter the Great declined to comment.
posted by Peter The Great @ 8:04 AM
1 Comments:
Never mind whether they are toxic or dangerous, why is it that toys kids like are uniformly hideous? Have to confess that sympathise with smug Guardian readers on aesthetic grounds alone..
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