Driving reign
Courtesy of the DSA Official Training DVD, Flatmate Dean and I had a marvellous time last night playing ‘Hazard Perception’.For those of us too old to know what this is, it is a new aspect to the driving test. There is a theory test for Highway Code stuff, and then the Hazard Perception test.
In this, one is shown a video as if out of a car windscreen, driving along a road.
The game is that you have to click your mouse every time you spot a hazard.
The thing is, pretty much everything you see, all the time, is a hazard.
But there’s also the problem that if you click too much, you’ll get disqualified and get no points for the click.
Can you see how this might be a bit tricky? What is too much? When is too little?
And to make it even harder, one website I was reading reported that a lot of people found that they were clicking too early, so even when they spotted the hazard, their response was not registering.
Baffling. Good job it’s only my driving license at stake on this impenetrable quiz eh?
Eventually we settled on a system that seemed to work. All you have to do is click every now and then when you see a bend, a parked car, a crow flying overhead or a leaf on the road.
Then, when the ‘proper’ hazard begins (which seemed to almost always be a blind person crossing the road – tsk, these blindies just can’t be trusted) you click like a maniac until the hazard is gone.
I’m finding it difficult to imagine a less effective way to demonstrate the ability to spot hazards whilst driving. But if it’s out there, I’m sure the DSA is working on it.
Meanwhile, it turns out I did get an interview on The Apprentice. I’m going on Saturday morning.
Of course I’ll tell you all about it. That’s what I’m here for.

4 Comments:
I think you should offer Sir Alan the key bit of advice that he needs to change - or at least develop - his catchphrase.
So, instead of, "you're a lightweight, you're fired!" maybe he could try, in a broad Brooklyn accent, "Get the fuck outta here, you rat fuck!"
Much more fun than marrying Jodie Marsh- can we take it that you have abandoned that idea now?
How about pitching a no holds barred 'ultimate fighting' style battle BETWEEN Sir Alan of Amstrad and glamour labrador Jodie Marsh. With you refereeing. TV gold dust, I guarantee it.
Monkey tennis? Inner-city sumo?
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