The Archive

On a rope

So it would seem that Pope Benedict Arnold XVIIIVXXI has banned limbo.

I don’t know what he has against the relatively harmless activity of dancing backwards under a low bar… oh hang on… right. OK, let’s start again.

It turns out the the Pope has declared that limbo no longer exists and that unbaptized kiddies can now go to heaven.

OK, can’t say I’d disagree with that. But does that mean it has ceased to exist, or that it never existed in the first place?

I have to admit, were I a card-carrying Catholic, I’d feel a little peturbed about this. I mean really…

Me: Hello Pope. I hear you now say there is no limbo.
Pope: Nope.
Me: And consequently, there never was.
Pope: That’s right.
Me: And the other stuff you told me to believe in, you know with the hell and the sin and confession and all that, that still stands.
Pope: Yep. That’s the unchanging word of God.
Me: Right. But wasn’t, um, that what you said about limbo up until yesterday?
Pope: Hmm, I see what you’re getting at. Here, have some wine.

What I particularly like about this is that the Vatican has said "We can say we have many reasons to hope that there is salvation for these babies,"

Reasons? I’d be very interested to see those. Word from the other side perhaps, an eyewitness in heaven?

All in all, it all rather shows up the charade for what it is, if you ask me. But I’d have paid money to be in the meeting where they decided all this.

Cardinal 1: OK everyone, item 7, Limbo. What do we reckon?
Cardinal 2: Hmm. Seems a bit harsh, denying the babies sight of God.
Cardinal 1: I’m inclined to agree. Let’s get rid of it.
Cardinal 2: You’re on. Next up, adultery. Are we for or against nowadays? Me: I have a few words to say on this matter…

posted by Peter The Great @ 11:29 AM