The Archive

Another day in da hood

It occurs to me that I have now phoned 999 on a grand total of 3 occassions in my 35 years of life. And 2 of those have been in the last couple of months, on the exact same corner of the street outside my work in Burnt Oak.

So, what was the drama this time?

Well, there I was with a colleague, unloading boxes from the company car she'd parked right in front of our building. I was walking towards the car, about three metres from it, when some urchin jumps in the front seat and drives off, with the hatchback and rear passenger doors wide open.

I ran alongside trying the handle of the driver's door for a few yards (it's a deisel, so you can do that sort of thing) but the canny scally had locked it.

So then I watched as the car (and more importantly as far as I was concerned, the exhibition stand I'd spent weeks working on) disappeared up the Edgware Road.

Bastard.

So I called the cops, like you do. And this time I got through without being put on hold, which was nice.

"Can you describe the car?" they asked.

"Yes, it's the only one travelling up the wrong side of the Edgware Road with all the doors wide open and a demented chav driving. You should be able to spot it."

They didn't, of course. And thus the car was gone.

Amazingly, the story does not end there. Later that night, my boss was driving home when he cuts up a side road. And what do you think he saw? That's right, our car, neatly parked up and with everything still in it as if nothing were amiss.

So he calls the office, we despatch a couple of intrepid volunteers and get our car back.

Brilliant. It was like The Sweeney without the glamour.

The only thing we forgot to do was leave a note in the empty spot saying 'Car gone missing? Now you know how it feels.'

posted by Peter The Great @ 8:23 AM