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Thursday, March 01, 2007

Welcome to my world

Moving on from the great debate of the last post (private message to anonymous - I suggest you give my live show a miss, you're going to hate the puppy juggling segment), I'd like to take you on a little tour of my life.

First up, a lovely shop just opposite the station at which I get off the train.

This particular emporium sells clothing and such for the larger lady. Now, as Flatmate Dump pointed out, you'd want to pick a name with a certain dignity. Something like 'High and Mighty' would do the trick right?

Wrong. Apparently you're best off just laying it right out there...


Now I'm no expert, but I find it extremely difficult to imagine any woman feeling great about replying to the question 'that's a lovely dress, where did you get it?' with the answer "It's from Big Girl. You know, opposite the station. Because I'm fat you see."

Mind you, they recently got a new sign done with the same name, so I guess it must be doing ok for them.

So, there's that.

Next up is a sign that last week appeared taped to the door of the toilets at the pub opposite work. But first, a little context.
The pub in question is a dump. A horrible, horrible dump.

Also, sorry about the terrible quality of the picture, but I didn't want to use the flash and thereby draw attention to the fact that I was essentially taking pictures of the toilets in a roughhouse pub.

Anyway...




I find it hard to express how much I love this notice.

It starts out reasonably enough. No opposite sex people in the toilet, presumably to prevent shagging.

Admittedly, I find it impossible to imagine who would want to engage in any fluid exchange in quite such disgusting surroundings, but there's no accounting for taste.

But is the notice writer content to stop there? Oh no. "No funny business either"

Genius. Pure genius. But still they're not happy. Clearly more explicit instructions are needed. Wee, wash hands, get out. And do it promptly.

Ok, I think I know what I have to do. But still it's not enough.

CCTV is legal in toilets. Now notice the cunning ploy at work here. CCTV is legal. Now you're thinking they have CCTV in the toilets right?

Of course they don't. They only just have a sink. And they certainly don't have any cleaning products. So it seems unlikely that they're spending their budget on hi tech security doesn't it?

Still, the sign does work. I can declare that I have certainly not got up to any 'funny business' in those toilets.

Not for want of trying, mind you.

Anyway, that's a little taster of Burnt Oak for you. I hope you enjoyed it.

Have a great weekend.

posted by Peter The Great @ 8:33 PM

1 Comments:

At 9:18 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

hello
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