Nice day for a massacre
Happy Valentine's day everyone.By which I mean I hope you were one of the people at work oohing, aahing and 'wondering who it's from' rather than one of the poor souls on an ajoining desk gamely trying to look happy for the bitch with the flowers whilst hoping the whole terrible debacle would just be over and done with.
Today the male members of the office were divided between men insisting 'I don't need a special day to tell me when to be romantic' and those who are going to get sex tonight.
The women, on the other hand, split themselves into the group who admitted that they wanted (or in a lot of cases, just plain expected) flowers, and those who said nothing.
Best of all though, was the woman who got the biggest, most flambouyant gift of all. She was very pleased. Lucky girl.
Now if you happen to know the background, you'd also be aware that the chap who sent the mass of flowers, bears and chocolates is the man who, thanks to the ever-helpful influence of religion, loves his girlfriend so much he will almost, but not quite, acknowledge her existence to his family.
Ain't love grand?
posted by Peter The Great @ 5:40 PM
7 Comments:
I sat at home, fingering a firearm and staring into the blackness of my heart. In its own way, I thought it was a good evening.
I had a dozen beautful red roses delivered to work for me. Unfortunately, I was unable to enjoy the envious stares of my colleagues as they arrived, given that I was in Bristol all day.
I had a dozen beautiful red roses delivered to work. Unfortunatelu, I was unable to enjoy my moment as smug bitch with the nicest flowers as I was out of the office in Bristol all day. The only witness when I was able to pick them up was the Portuguese cleaner at 7.30pm...
Hmm, was it funnier the first or the second time? Or perhaps just not funny enough to warrant two write-ups?
The second time. No, first. No wait, second. Or first maybe - nope definitely second.
I didn't get any flowers from my husband, despite the fact it was Valentines day and also our wedding anniversary. I didn't like to seem pushy, so I didn't demand any flowers and my lovely husband read between the lines and indeed did not get me any.
I did get a wolf whistle from a man driving a cement lorry though. So that's alright then.
Got 2 cards and a letter from the Balham boy declaring his budding affections for me, which frankly was crap given that I didn't get flowers. No flowers, no balloons or tacky toys = no sex. What's there not to understand,eh?
Ended up going out for 'a couple' of drinks with a friend. It was our anniversary - 11 years of him knowing me, lucky guy!
I've just about recovered from a very nasty hangover and I think my friend is still alive.
I did, however, managed to send a Valentines greeting to Mr Goddard, so he shouldn't complain. He is good boy really.
A(nonymous)
Post a Comment
<< Home