The Archive

Cucuta city in Columbian Clown Killing Caper

Professor Numbers has come up trumps again with another amazing piece of news.

Yes, it's another tragedy at which I am going to point and laugh. It's a double clown murder.

Apparently two clowns were doing their clowny thing, presumably chucking buckets of glitter over one another, when a mystery man jumps into the ring, shoots them both dead and legs it.

Two clowns. Shot dead.

You have to wonder why don't you? I can imagine one clown getting into dodgy dealings with the mob and getting topped. I can imagine two clowns hating each other enough for one to finally crack and get a hit on the other.

But what can two clowns have done to merit this treatment?

Were they just very, very unfunny? Did they do 'stuck in an invisible box'? In which case, I have a certain sympathy with the assailant.

Actually though, the more I think about it, the more this seems likely, as "Local reports say the audience of about 20 people, mostly children, thought the shooting was part of the show."

What kind of show were these clowns putting on that the audience could think that one of them getting blasted in the head, presumably with attendant gore and unpleasantess, was all part of the show? Good Lord, it must have been some act.

"What did you think of the show Timmy?"
"Oh it was great Mum. First lots of them got out of this tiny little car. Then one of them had their trousers fall down. Then, for a finale, one of them was shot in the head. There was blood everywhere. My, how we laughed."

But then you read on and it all seems to be a bit more sinister.

One clown was shot in the head as he performed on stage, about an hour into the Circo del Sol's evening show.

The second, named as 18-year-old Franklin Leal, from Cucuta, was then shot as he stood by the ticket booth.

So in fact these were seperate clown killings. This smacks of premeditation. And it gets worse.

Last year, a prominent circus clown, known as Pepe, was also shot dead by a unknown assailant in Cucuta.

Now call me crazy, but three clowns murdered in three incidents in the same town makes me think that maybe, just maybe, there's a serial clown killer on the loose in Cucuta city.

That's got to be the only city in the world where the clowns are all begging to swap with the lion tamers on the grounds that it's safer.

posted by Peter The Great @ 7:23 PM