Singer sowing machine
Good news. I am auditioning for a job as a pub singer.Well, that may be a bit of an overstatement. In an effort to get my extremely good guitarist flatmate a gig at a pub, twiddling in the background much as one finds jazz pianists employed the world over, I told my local pub he'd come in and strum his stuff by way of demonstration.
Then I discovered...
"No way, I'm not doing it without a singer."
Fair enough. Tracey has singing talent galore. She'd love to...
"Absolutely not. I would hate that.
Oh. Bugger.
Now, coming from the school of 'do what you've said you're going to do', this leaves me with little in the way of options.
Which is why I have the next two days in which to learn to sing, before going back to the pub to perform a tuneful number of our choice to demonstrate our credentials.
Hmm, could be interesting. Any suggestions as to songs?
Strangely, Flatmate Dean has already ruled out 'Good Ship Venus' and 'Fuck da Police' which are the only two songs to which I know all the words. Shame really, as I've always thought hardcore gangsa rap was a niche gastro pubs had yet to exploit.
So you'll understand why I'm open to suggestions.
Come on, you must have some ideas... (yes, I'm soliciting comments like a cheap whore. But I'm a free whore, so that's even better value right?)
posted by Peter The Great @ 10:57 PM
2 Comments:
How about "Knees up Mother Brown" (but a tasteful, traditional and respectful homage to East End plebian culture rather than the vulgar yelling of Chas'n'Dave) and "Remember you're a Womble" ? Some Mungo Jerry might also be appropriate.
Perhaps it will be like that scene in the Blues Brothers where you sing behind a steel grille and an angry, drunken mob hurl bottles. Come to think of it, where are you performing ? I was planning a couple of "light ales" later this week...
My suggestion is to wait until late in the day when most of your audience is drunk and emotional, then sing 'Bridge Over Troubled Water' - everyone will cry (for the right reasons) and will think you're the best singer they ever heard. Either that, or on the Blues Brothers theme you could go with Stand By Your Man?!
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