The Archive

Crime after crime

It appears that a 13-year-old girl has been declared both the victim and perpetrator of a sexual assault.

Amusingly, the case is likened to an incidence of duelling, which seems appropriate because both that and two underage virgins having sex seem likely to be bloody, unpleasant exercises that, frankly, shouldn't be allowed.

In fact, whilst I'm at it, why is it most people seem to think that older men or women having sex with much younger partners is a bad idea (I'm talking about younger, not underage here).

Personally, I'm in favour of a national deflowering programme. Experienced lovers of both genders get themselves licensed and put into a database online (or in a catalogue, for the less technically inclined).

Then, when turning sixteen, every citizen of this nation will be encouraged to select a partner from the book, who will then induct them in the arts of love.

This could then give them an opportunity to learn about birth control, goes some way to ensuring that most people's first times are pleasurable experiences, rather than confused amatuerish fumblings, and gives me a whole new career field to aspire to.

What do you think?

posted by Peter The Great @ 5:33 PM