The Archive

Mannequin Pissed

A chap has been arrested for stealing shop mannequins to indulge his fetish.

There is so much to love about this story. First up, the man's a mannequin fetishist. That's funny on its own. But what I really like is what this story reveals about the mind of man. Not just this guy, but any man.

It seems that, after a number of smash and grabs, the chap said he was going to buy a mannequin of his very own but "apparently that didn't work out."

So what we've got here is a guy who attempted to have a stable, monogamous relationship with a nice mannequin next door type, but it's just not enough for him.

Sure, she's always there when he gets home. Sure, she never complains when he stays for after-work drinks with the boys. And sure, she never steals the covers. But he wants more.

It's not exciting and our poor fella just can't stop himself. He wants a bit on the side.

And what does he go for?

1. The inaccessible woman - literally in this case, she's kept behind a plate glass window.

2. The girl most definitely NOT next door. It's revealed that the mannequin he cheated on his plastic wife with was wearing "a mannequin in a black and white French maid's uniform."

So there you have it. Even if you're the kind of oddball bloke who'd rather be with a plastic dummy than a real woman (anyone thinking of Tommy Lee, Kid Rock et al here?), you're not immune to the same old temptations of forbidden lust.

It's an old, sad story isn't it?

What isn't revealed is how his die-cast wife responded to the news. I would guess she's not talking to him.

posted by Peter The Great @ 10:51 PM