The Archive

Immigration irritation

Apparently Britain is under attack by a number of alien threats.

Asians and Eastern Europeans are coming over here and taking over from good old-fashioned Brits.

I'm talking, of course, about mussels and clams. That's right. Evil Zebra Mussels from Eastern Europe(hard workers, good for a bit of DIY) are clogging up our waterways because, it would seem, they have no idea how to queue properly and so end up climbing all over each other.

The Asian clam isn't much better, with hundreds of them sharing a single (river) bed, so it's horribly overcrowded and making our rivers smell of noodles (probably).

And don't even get me started on the Mitten Crab.

So what's being done to protect decent, British wildlife (It fought in the war you know.)? Well, quite a lot actually. Turns out, in the case of the Zebra Mussel, they've developed a bio bullet that kills the buggers off.

Nobody tell the Daily Mail. It'll only give them ideas.

ps There was an opinion piece in the Grauniad today entitled "If I were raped today I would not report it."

A friend (who shall remain nameless) responded to this, "Oh really? Why's that then? And what does she look like?"

So watch out Julie Bindel, you may have caused yourself a bit of a problem there.

posted by Peter The Great @ 8:04 PM