The Archive

Happy Hallowe'en

Things I learned over the weekend...

1. At a Hallowe'en fancy dress party, it's the guy in jeans who looks like an idiot.
2. No matter what you're wearing, if you're in any kind of costume at all a woman who's interested can come and talk to you to say 'great costume'. In fact, the worse your costume, the more confident you can be that they're just using it to get talking to you. I had shed most of the layers of my costume (bloody lab coat, wig, glasses, for the record) and had only a bloodstained shirt which one woman declared a 'great costumer'. Really, it wasn't.
3. Getting invited to a party at a swanky, Jermyn street club is nice, right up until they charge you £4 for a bottle of beer. Ouch.
4. It turns out you don't have to drink a lot to have a good time (who knew?). This is pretty lucky, considering 3. above.
5. On the other hand, when walking into a bar dressed as a mad professor with death at his side, however much you promised you wouldn't drink at all, you do need one beer.
6. Comedy glasses render everything so blurry and unpleasant, it turns out you don't need alcohol to stagger into furniture and feel sick either.
7. Polyester is hot. So very hot.
8. Ditto the bald wig.
9. Some brands of fake blood stain combined with sweat will stain your skin, possibly permanently.
10. After you've had your labcoat, wig etc nicked, starting to walk home in a bloodsoaked shirt will attract the attention of police cars...and yet simultaneously renders you entirely invisible to taxis.

I've learned these things so you don't have to. So have a terrific hallowe'en and let's be careful out there.

posted by Peter The Great @ 10:42 AM