The Archive

The wanderer returns

I am back.

But it's late and I'm tired, so you only get a couple of observations today. I have learned many things, including:

1. Frankfurt Hahn airport is in Frankfurt in the same way that Oxford is in the West End of London. Thank you Ryanair, that 2.30am start coming home was just what I was hoping for.

2. In the new security situation, it is still possible to travel on hand luggage alone, but the restrictions on taking toileteries means you will end up smelling of hotel.

3. Ryanair staff appear to be engaged in an ongoing contest as to who can make the passenger announcements the quickest - intelligibilty no object. Handy for those non-native speakers out there. But really, how many of those are you going to find in an international airport?

4. There is a local specialty drink which is kind of an apple wine. It's not too bad, but could really benefit from doing a Magners, sticking in a bunch of ice and marketing itself to Clapham idiots as the latest hip summer drink.

5. Frankfurt is tiny (about 600,000 people).

6. ...and not very interesting. As a city, you know you're in trouble when the best thing you can find to say in the guide that's supposed to extol your virtues is "As the city is at the point where major European trunk roads connect it is the ideal location for head offices of numerous multinational companies and banks."

7. It says it has a cathedral, but that is a lie. St Bartholomaus is the local 'cathedral' which apparently was given the honourary title of Kaiserdom because it was the place where various kings and emporers were crowned. But it's never been the See of a bishop. Sorry Frankfurt, no bishop, no cathedral. Them's the rules.

8. It was revolting. In 1833 a bunch of students attempted to kick off a French-style revolution by storming the Hauptwache (local cop shop / prison). The revolution failed and the Hauptwache is now, according to the guide book, "an unpretentious cafe".

This is another lie. It is actually quite pretentious.

And finally, Frankfurt was the birth city of Goethe. Now I've never read any Goethe, and can only name on thing he's written. Nevertheless, I decided to go to the Goethe house and museum.

This is because I am a tourist and therefore must do things that on no account would I do were I at home.

So, coming soon... Goethe, his life, times and laundry habits.

posted by Peter The Great @ 10:01 PM