The Archive

Stag nation

Oh dear.

Myself and a small group of 12 of my closest friends were supposed to be flying out to Lisbon for a stag weekend tomorrow.

But now the nation's gone terror-tastic, it seems like we'll have to make a few adjustments to the agenda.

The new itinerary is as follows.

Friday morning. Arrive at airport. Enjoy the services of the first stripper of the trip. Sadly, this stripper is actually a hefty, hairy man whose job it is to strip you naked before the now compulsory body cavity search.

After this, it's check in everything you own and, with nothing more than the clothes you stand up in, go to the bar.


Friday night. Still in the airport bar. The flight's only another five hours away now though. Let's have another beer. Try talking to other passengers and receive only horrified looks in return. So at least that part of the trip remains the same.

Saturday lunchtime Arrive in Lisbon. Cry relieved tears of joy. Check in to hotel. Have lunch.

Saturday night. Realise we have to go back to the airport now if we're to stand any chance of checking on to our flight and still allow enough time for the strip search, bag search, interrogation and summary internment of Bag the Stag.

Head back to airport. Go to bar.

Sunday morning Wake up on Norwegian fishing trawler. Last memory was Wig suggesting a round of Absinthe would make the wait seem less tedious. Wonder how to get home from there.

Sunday night. Arrive home, broke and smelling of herring. Look in wallet to discover receipt for seven hundred pounds, dated late Saturday night. Shrug.

Call friends to ensure all still alive. Agree that, despite everything, it was still a good weekend though.

So, no blog for a few days, but should have something to tell at the other end.

See ya!

posted by Peter The Great @ 10:50 AM