The Archive

All the world's a stag

A few quotable quotes from the weekend.

1. When driving around Lisbon in what was supposed to be a tour bus. There was no room to sit, so most of us were standing. A couple got to plug headphones into the commentary outlets - which didn't work. At which point, Wig observed...

This isn't a tour. We're just on a bus. We might as well be on a 194b

To which Bag the Stag added, on finally getting tuned in to the commentary...

This is rubbish. It's just music and bad grammar.

2. On arrival at the beach, Professor Numbers discovered it was quite hot...

I think somebody has set my face on fire.

3. Pelletor, on noticing a man with no legs begging for change...

Oh come on, he's just standing in a manhole.

4. Wig, Pelletor and myself jumped into a cab and asked to be taken to the nearest big shopping centre (it was Sunday morning OK, we were tired). After a bit of gibbering at each other with no comprehension dawning, eventually the taxi set off. As we went further and further into the suburbs, we suddenly began to suspect that he had misunderstood our request and was suddenly going to stop, open the door and announce...

"There you go lads, middle of nowhere. Have fun."

Other things of note: (in no particular order).

1. The great Taxi Chase.
Passport Muppet Numbers Dave racing after the taxi which has just dropped us off at the airport at full tilt in flip flops (because he'd just remembered he'd left the ticket and his passport in a bag on the front seat - IDIOT).

2. Hard Rock Cafe
(Again, Sunday. People were flagging. Heads were going down. It was air conditioned. Also, the lack of accordian players, sunglasses salesmen and beggars was a lure)

Bag the Stag has an entirely disappointing burger. ("What is included in the price?")

3. Satan's absinthe
Whilst drinking in Barrio Alto, it was decided that a round of red absinthe was in order. It's like normal Absinthe (ie potent crazy juice) but with added ginseng for that extra kick.

It had a picture of the devil on the bottle. Can't think why.

4. The beach.
Perfect weather. Great waves (apparently). Some people go off to surf, where Paul decides to demonstrate 'how it's done'. He immediately hops onto the board, piled onto the nearest wave and smacks his nose into his own surfboard. Stylish!

5.Dr Terror.
On good form, despite having received the news of a deceased grandmother pretty much on the instant of his arrival. He did manage to drain the entire contents of his mini bar though. Except the chocolates. I think someone else had them.

6. Pastéis de Belém
Absolutely delicious little traditional custard tart things. Fabulous stuff.

7. Aggro Gav
Family Guy Gav turning into an angry English yob, nearly starting a fight in the airport and generally getting frustrated at every failure of customer service - which in Portugal was pretty frequent...

8. NH Hotel
... except at the NH Hotel, which put in another sterling performance. Special kudos to the man on the front desk who said to Barry, with astonishing grace and good humour, "Do you remember abusing and swearing at me last night?".

9. Chicken, and lots of it
Dinner at the Bom Jardin restuarant was a triumph. Plates and plates of piri piri chicken and chips just kept on coming. Just what the doctor ordered.

10. Ginjinha
A drink made of some sort of cherry. Imagine a glass of cough linctus and you're about there. Not very nice, but technically a sight, so had to be done.

11. Vinho Verde
'Green wine' actually a rather tasty white wine. Very nice. A fair amount was consumed.

So, overall there was plenty seen and done. I think everyone had a reasonable time and nobody died.

I'd call that a success.

posted by Peter The Great @ 4:51 PM