The Archive

Extra hot salsa

Well, I got suckered into going to a salsa lesson yesterday. Well, not so much suckered into it, as was simply asked by a hot woman in the office if I wanted to go.

Taking her casual interest in my attendance as a gilt-edged sign of desire (wrongly, of course), I said yes, as did a couple of other people in the office (yes, I know if she was inviting everyone, I wasn’t being specially singled out, but don’t forget my capacity for self delusion).

Oh yes, she also added ‘There are never enough guys and so many girls’.

So naturally, I was there.

Imagine then, my surprise when I arrive yesterday for the lesson to discover that the beginners’ class consisted of 3 people, all of us men.

Damn.

Still, I like a bit of a dance, so the lack of a partner was no great issue (and no, I didn’t get to be a lady for the night). This was especially true as most of the time was spent just trying to learn some of the basic moves.

One particular move was a bit scary. Basically it involved crossing one foot over the other and bending the knees. Nothing scary about that, I’ll admit. Unless you also have a few years of Ju Jitsu under your belt. In which case you’ll recognise it as the first part of O Soto Gari, in which you toss your opponent over your hip and send them smashing into the ground.

Now you can see why I was worried right?

“And one and two and three and aaaaaaaaargh!”
“Oh, sorry dear. Anyone else want to dance with me?”

Still, other than that it was all fairly straightforward, right up until it came to dancing with an actual, real live lady.

Suddenly, this very attractive woman (the teacher, who also happened to be the colleague mentioned above) was holding me and I was holding her as we gracefully pranced around in a salsa stylee. Well, she moved gracefully around anyway. For my part, I settled for trying not to tread on her feet.

It was also at this time that my Englishness came to the fore. Presented with the need to hold a woman I barely knew and dance with her (which, let’s face it, is a pretty sexy activity), I became paralysed with self consciousness and couldn’t even look her in the eye. I ended up shuffling around, staring at the floor and blushing.

Basically, I’m just like Hugh Grant. Only without the looks. Or charm. The prostitute propensity on the other hand…

Still, a good time was had by all (well, me anyway) and I’m even considering going back for a rematch next week.

I shall become a salsa king. Watch this space.

Toe update Once the blood stopped, it appeared that I have somehow split my little toe such that there is a deep ravine where once there was, well, toe I suppose. It's not very attractive to look at, but then, neither am I, so it all balances out I suppose.

Oh, it hurts a bit too, but I think I'm going to make it through. I'm a fighter.

posted by Peter The Great @ 2:54 PM