The Archive

Day two, tempers fray

I think I might be getting too old for these really big nights.

Saturday was one of those split evenings, where I had committed to two different activities. So first off it was over to Satellite Tina's for a bite to eat and a couple of hours of gentle Ronaldo abuse as we watched the Germans dismantle the hapless Portugese (which was nice).

A good time, for sure, and I didn't even drink too much. Which was lucky, because the next phase of the evening was a party, and that turned out to be much, much heavier.

Due to having already been at Tina's, we didn't even arrive at the place until midnight. Midnight. How continental of us.

By that time, everything was already in full swing although we weren't very drunk. I wish we had been though. It was so strange.

For some reason, there were a number of people wearing cowboy hats. And a couple of guys in vests (!) and everyone seemed to be acting up, like small children when strange visitors had come to the house.

The overall effect was bizarre, yet oddly familiar. And then I realised why.

It was just like we were in the Big Brother house.

So much so, that I eventually started taking notes. So, for your delectation, a few key points of entertainment through the evening.

1. the lesbian. We met a girl who was a lesbian. Not intrinsically interesting I'm sure you'll agree. But that's not what she thought. She was literally incapable of talking about anything other than how much of a lesbian she was. Quotes of note:

"I'm a lesbian." (the first thing she said to us. And anyone else she was introduced to.)
"I'm living the lesbian dream." (Fair enough. I've had a few lesbian dreams myself.)
"You're such a lesbian." (pointing to Flatmate Dean!)

And finally, when asked why she just kept going on and on about being a lesbian, she replies "I only do it to annoy the straights. They hate lesbians." Where was this woman living? The nineteen fifties?

2. Despairing James. As it got a bit later (by which I mean approaching dawn), heads started to go down. Most notably a chap called James who we saw sitting, his head in his hands, like a Rodin sculpture of despair. Nice guy though.

3. Turquoise. One girl, who we christened Turquoise after the colour of her top, was particularly pissed. Being a forward kind of girl, she homed in on Dean like an exocet missile (assuming the missile weaved about precariously before reaching its target) and made her dishonourable intentions quite clear. Dean was having none of it, however, although that didn't stop the rest of us keeping on leaving him alone to fight her off, because we thought it was funny. Fortunately for him his girlfriend showed up later and Turquoise ceased to harrass.

Quote of the night; "Oh my God, Turquoise is STILL DRINKING." And she was. That girl had stamina I must say. She may be dead by now though.

4. Pugsley's self-awareness. Sometimes you know when you've had enough to drink. Sometimes you don't realise until it's too late. And sometimes, in a moment combining a lot of self awareness with very little self control, you get to announce...

"After this drink I think I'm going to become a right arsehole."

5. Couple's paradise. Final quote of the night came from some Australian who had gone into the garden for a moment. Looking around, he declared, in a disgusted tone...

"Oh shit. It's like a couple's paradise out here... except for you" (points at me).

Thanks mate. Thanks a million.

Still, fun was had by all, the strangely bendy floor never collapsed and we actually partied until it was light, which would be a testament to my stamina if I wasn't only just recovering now.

Anyway, thanks El, Kristina, Debs, Kev and Tracey for one of the most entertaining weekends I've had in a while and a splendid rescue.

posted by Peter The Great @ 8:44 AM