Right to Rome
I can’t be arsed to come up with something original today, as I’ve run out of opinions.So, to help you avoid work for a few minutes, I offer to you a prime piece of video featuring the one and only Joan Rivers.
Now I never had much time for Joan, beyond admiration for her turning herself into her own Spitting Image puppet through the medium of plastic surgery.
However, all is redeemed as she drunkenly abuses her co-hosts, her host nation and just about everybody involved in the Logies (‘The what?’ I hear you cry. Well, that’s kind of the point dear Joan is making. What the hell is this award ceremony anyway?).
So, enjoy the video and I’ll try to come up with some poorly conceived opinions to regale you with in the morning.
Oh, and I’m going to Rome at the weekend, so there’ll be no posting probably until early next week. However, to tide you over, here’s how William Hill are viewing my attempt at La Dolce Vita.
1. Wallet stolen by gypsy urchin (2 -1).
2. Stabbed by gypsy urchin’s older brother whilst in pursuit of wallet (3 – 1).
3. Ask to buy glamorous Mediterranean beauty a drink (Evens).
4. Glamorous Mediterranean beauty says ‘yes’ (100 – 1)
5. Glamorous Mediterranean beauty says ‘no; (10 – 1)
6. Glamorous Mediterranean beauty says nothing, but a knee in the balls speaks volumes nonetheless (2 – 1)
7. Stabbed by glamorous Mediterranean beauty’s older brother/boyfriend/passer by who doesn’t like the look of me. (9- 2)
8. I get drunk (No bets taken)
9. I go for a ride on a Vespa (sitting on the seat) (20 -1)
10. I go for a ride on a Vespa (wrapped around the headlight) (3 -1)
11. I attempt to frolic in the Trevi fountain (2 – 1)
12. … and carry it off as well as Anita Ekberg (200 – 1)
13. Number of arrests (spread bets taken)
14. Return alive and well (5 – 2)
So, place your bets everyone.
Remember, as the saying goes, Rome wasn’t built in a day, but it’s conceivable that it could be destroyed in a weekend.
Also remember, as the saying goes, all roads lead to Rome, except perhaps the M40, which I’m pretty certain goes to Birmingham.
And finally, as the saying goes, when in Rome, get drunk, go clubbing and get rebuffed by loads of women, as the Romans do (probably).
Watch this space.
Oh, I’ll try to post tomorrow, but you know how it is when you’re a member of the international jet set?
posted by Peter The Great @ 5:26 PM
3 Comments:
Travel Tips
Roman women are used to dealing with Roman men, and so have developed a certain "mode" of behaviour - good luck....
Fastest way to get drunk - order a Rum and Coke.
Piazza Navona and Campo di Fiori - pick up joints.
Time between attempting to enter Trevi Fountain and arrest - 2 seconds.
Failing that, on keeping in with your 'jet-setter' life-style you could always go to Germany, I hear they’re gearing up for big business over the next month and strangely enough, it’s nothing to do with football…
But be warned – they have launched a “Red Card For Forced Prostitution campaign”, which will apparently “urge men to consider the situation of the woman they are using” – as sourced from the ever-reliable Metro newspaper.
So Peter The Great, let’s see how many red cards you can achieve this World Cup season eh?
I'll have you know that I take a very stern view of enforced prostitution and wouldn't get involved with that kind of thing.
And besides, I'm planning a trip to Frankfurt in the near future, but not until the football nonsense has passed.
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