Distraction Action
It was ‘Operation Search and Distract’ last night as, for reasons I’m not going to go into here (ie I wasn’t paying attention when she explained) Satellite Tina was a bit low.Well, she’s a short bird anyway, so she’s always a bit low I guess, but anyway.
Now you’ve all known me well enough to know that distracting someone from their problems is, for me, just another way of saying ‘getting her drunk’.
Much like ‘going on a first date’ then.
And ‘having a quiet night in with’ .
OK, I’ll stop there. Point was, we went out to a pub near her on Chancery Lane which, like every other building in the area, reeked of The Law.
Really, can’t lawyers go anywhere without coating the walls in wood panelling and leading the glass?
Well, we started there anyway. But a lack of scenery (old solicitors and ancient barristers resting their wheelbarrows full of money mostly. No hot chicks) drove us into Soho where we went to the bar where all the Dutch for a hundred miles around had congregated in order to a) feel less silly about wearing a lot of garish orange clothing and b) cheer their national team against Argentina.
And what pub do you think they all went to? Come on, think Dutch. Windmills. Tulips. Animal porn. Rembrandt.
That's right, they were all at O'Neills Irish Pub.
Fair enough I guess.
Fortunately, the Dutch being a naturally attractive peoples (and tall. So very tall), things were a lot better there. Also because everyone else cared about the football greatly and we just didn’t, during the action, we could easily get served at the bar, despite my intermittent pub invisibility.
(Oh, that’s another of my mutant powers incidentally. I can turn totally invisible by simply standing at a bar and waving a ten pound note).
So anyway, we go bladdered. Holland didn’t lose. Satellite Tina forgot about her woes for a short while (whatever they were) and now my head hurts.
Success!
This just in... I was just described as ‘one of the sleaziest people I’ve ever had the fortune to meet’. And this coming from a guy whose nickname is sex pest!
posted by Peter The Great @ 12:02 PM
1 Comments:
In need of distraction? Yes. Low? No. I am, afterall, Satellite Tina (not 'Low Bird Tina.')...and by definition usually orbiting at an altitude of around 36,000 km.
Distraction was achieved, not so much by the alcohol - although it did factor in the equation, but by Peter's unique brand of loyalty together with his (in)famous EDGY ENERGY.
Post a Comment
<< Home