The Archive

Diss - ipline

Apparently there has been "a total breakdown in discipline, with drugs, alcohol, hazing [initiation ceremonies], you name it".

That's right, John Prescott has really caused the Labour party a lot of damage over the last few days, and the return of his 'grace and favour' mansion doesn't look like it will be enough to repair the damage.

OK, it wasn't the Labour party, it was the US marines (hoo ya) who have been spending their leisure hours as all occupying forces are wont to do, playing poker, telling dirty jokes and going on uncontrolled killing sprees.

Apparently the incident at Haditha is being compared to My Lai in Vietnam, although it's uncertain if the current massacre will catch on enough to have a cocktail named after it.

Don't worry though, sending youngsters out to the desert with an M16 and a couple of hand grenades to play is quite safe. Especially now the US has implemented a 'core warrior values' class for the soldiers.

Brilliant. That's just a small step up from issuing a brochure...

"Don't worry Johnny Iraqi, this won't happen again as all soldiers have now been issued with their own copy of, 'unarmed civilians - killing them is just not cricket'.

And why only the core values? Are they planning a further course of study? Warrior values 102 - Fringe Values: Bloodletting etiquette and what not to wear to the battlefield.

Hmm, you can picture it can't you. Fresh from risking their lives on another patrol, the lads of India company make it back to base just in time for class.

"OK lads, role play. You have just been found in an Iraqi's house with your rifle to the temple of a small child. What are you doing?"
"Er, just controlling this dangerous terrorist sir."
"Good. And why are you about to kill what looks like a civilian?"
"Um, Jenkins told me to do it sir."
"And if Jenkins told you to jump off a cliff, would you do it?"
"He's my commanding officer sir, so yes, I suppose I'd have to."
"Oh, right. I suppose you would. Bugger. OK then do you have your homework?"
"The essay on 'non-racist nicknames for the subhuman enemy scum' sir?"
"The very one."
"The dog ate it."
"I don't see a dog in the camp soldier."
"We ate the dog sir."
"Oh, right. What about Johnson, why isn't he here?"
"He's out having a fag behind the tank sheds sir."
"What?! That's a disgrace. It's supposed to be don't ask don't tell around here. That's it Private, I'm court martialling you for grassing on your comrades."
"Hoo ya sir."

Just like 'It Aint Half Hot Mum' don't you think?

posted by Peter The Great @ 9:07 PM