The Archive

Blogged down

Hello all,

Sorry for the delay, but I was injured whilst running down and wrestling to the ground a mugger who had snatched the bag of a little, white-haired old lady, so I have been in hospital and then in Buckingham Palace receiving a medal.

Now is it just me, or is Buckingham Palace just crap? When I think of a palace, I think turrets, moats and women tied to the bed in the top of the highest tower, her silky nightgown torn in her struggle, her breast rising and falling with each... sorry, I'm drifting.

Anyway, the point is that Buckingham palace looks basically like a variation on your common-or-garden Georgian terrace. I wouldn't be surprised if Her Maj were to announce that she was splitting it into flats and having a hundred and fifty Australians and Kiwis move in to help with the rent.

None of which is the point. Because there is no point.

Oh yes, I remember what I was going to say. I am officially famous. I was on Sky news last week.

That's right, turn on the news and there I was right in the centre of the screen. Well, slightly right of centre, behind Ruth Kelly, who was being interviewed at the time.

OK, I confess, I was scenery, but it all counts towards my equity card.

What actually happened was the redoubtable Ruth 'I am not a Catholic crackpot' Kelly was about to be interviewed as she visited the project I'm working on. Not liking the look of the blank wall behind her, they said they needed someone to sit at the desk behind her and 'pretend to work'.

Now clearly when it comes pretending to work, you can't get much more experienced than me, so I stepped up to the plate.

It was actually really odd. I sat typing away whilst the Home Secretary stood right beside me denying that she was a bigot. It can't have looked very natural though can it. Presumably, the audience is supposed to believe that there I am carrying on as normal without noticing a senior politician and a camera crew appearing right beside me.

Ironically, I got quite a lot of actual work done as well.

I must admit though, I was tempted to wait until right in the middle of the interview and then casually look round and then do a huge theatrical double-take, crying out, 'hang on, aren't you Ruth Kelly? What are you doing here?'.

Frankly, the grilling she was getting at the time, I think she'd have been glad of the distraction.

posted by Peter The Great @ 9:16 PM