The Archive

Learning can be fun

OK, I know I've been avoiding this and doing nothing with my empty days, but I'm ready to live up to my responsibilities and wind up this trip.

So, what was that all about then?

Well, before I left, it was fairly universally agreed that I was cracking at the edges. I'd quit my job with no ideas and nothing to go to, and a splendid assortment of personal problems had worn away at the edges into the bargain.

Now I'm back, a number of people have said I look like a different person.

Not a better person, mind, just a different one. However, this one has a bit of a tan, so I'm going to classify that as a great result.

So why did I travel? To find myself? I don't think so. To escape myself? Again, I'm not sure that was it either. I think I just needed a bit of space to breathe and find out the difference between the parts of my life that were a pleasure and the parts that were habit.

So I can safely say, now I have returned, that the trip was, in that sense, a total failure. It's amazing how quickly the habits flop back into their places when you're back. I guess it's like a sofa you haven't sat in for a while. When you come back, you still slide right into the slight indentation that your body made in the past.

Or maybe it wasn't a failure. I certainly don't feel overwhelmed as I did before I left. I can see things a bit more clearly (if not much more positively) and I feel far more relaxed than I have in a long time.

None of which is very funny, so here are some of the more important things I've learned on my travels...

1. Don't worry about getting old. No matter how fat, bald or wrinkled you are, there are thousands of beautiful Thai women willing to tell you how handsome you are. And sleep with you to prove it.

2. Learning ten words of the native language is well, well worthwhile. Please, thank you, hello, one, two, menu and a handful of other words will be repaid in boundless goodwill.

3. Learning more than ten words of the native language is a waste of time (remember 'hose'?). Unless you're staying more than a week or two of course, then you really ought to make the effort.

4. The best things I did in any of the countries were the various lessons, Capoeira being the best (with the surfing a close second). It's much more interesting actually engaging and doing than watching.

5. Except for Thai boxing. It's better to watch someone else get beaten up than to get beaten up yourself. (just kidding, the boxing lesson was great).

6. There is no weather you cannot complain about if you feel inclined.

7. Setting up a spare email address before you go will give you something to give out to all the interesting people you meet on your travels. Then, when you get home and realise you barely know them and don't want them to come and stay in your flat as you drunkenly promised, you can just close down the account.

8. Blogging is ace. Amazingly, writing the blog actually changed the way I travelled. I learned a lot more about the places I visited and I did things I perhaps would not have done simply because I felt I needed things to write about in the blog. This vastly improved the experience.

9. It is possible to travel the entire globe in 2 months carrying only hand luggage.

10. Not all immigration officials are vicious misanthropes. This came as quite a surprise to me too.

11. Good friends let you stay in their flat without complaining. Great friends let you usher an old hooker out of their flat in the morning without complaining.

12. Don't give your mother your blog address.

13. It's easier than you think to meet people. The Thai girls, the Australian Asians, the Manhattan Stripper, the American Family, the Dog Beach Girl, the Unlucky Korean and the Married With Kids Guy Who Was Obviously Gay But Didn't Seem To Realise It Himself were all lovely, hospitable people who were in various ways easily approachable. All you need is the courage to start a conversation.

14. American Airlines... they just... just... argh, I can't even finish this thought.

15. Some cocktails are distinctly better than others. All lagers are, fundamentally, the same.

16. A baby is a handy accessory for meeting people. Do try to keep the parents on hand should he start crying though.

17. Cultural relativism is nonsense. You can simply judge all civilisations by the standard of their public toilets.

18. At first, you think there are no attractive women in Rio. Then you join a gym and realise they are all there, working out in skimpy little costumes. Then you stay in the gym for the next four days.

19. The international language of friendship is a smile. Of flirtation, it's dancing. Sadly, I can only seem to ask the way to the station in this language.

20. Taking a couple of months off, seeing your friends and a little of the wider world is well worthwhile. Everyone tells you 'I wish I could do that' yet there is no difference between them and me. They can do that, they just don't seem to realise it.

So, that's it, a few things I've learned, despite my strict 'No personal development' policy.

And of course, one last time I'd like to thank all the people who put me up and put up with me on my travels. It was you who made it the great (but safe) adventure that I so enjoyed.

To my old friends, let's see each other again soon. To my new ones, get over here and I'll show you my city (and you know who I'm talking to).

And to everyone who read and left comments, insults and support, thank you too. Knowing you were all out there was a wonderful feeling.

Oh, and I have a job, at least for a few weeks. It's starting tomorrow, so not sure how the posting is going to go.

Watch this space.

posted by Peter The Great @ 10:48 AM