The Archive

A tale of two Croydons

A bit of a lazy day to day as I was feeling a bit of tourist fatigue. So mostly dossing and drinking in bars and cafes, watching the world go by.

I decided to have a look at the Fitzroy area of Melbourne, which I had read was the bohemian area of the city with plenty of character and community activity.

Well having seen it, let me translate that for you:

Bohemian - Poverty stricken
Character - Graffiti
Community activity - drug rehab centres.

On the plus side, I now know that if I'm going to shoot up heroin alone, I should

a) use half my usual dose; and
b) phone a friend.

I have no idea why phoning a friend should help. There was no 'ask the audience' option either. There was a 50:50 though - but I think it was referring to your chances of survival.

Anyway, it turns out that at first glance, Fitzroy is basically the South Croydon of Melbourne. Which is ironic, because there is a Croydon just outside Melbourne and it's actually quite nice.

That said, once beyond Needle Park and other delights, there was an actual shopping and drinking area that did live up to the billing. But if I'd admitted that right off, how funny would that have been eh? Not at all.

So sorry Fitzroy, but comedy comes first.

Other Random Aussie observations: I've noticed that in the news here, they have rejected the formal BBC style of stiff newsreading in favour of a far more casual approach. They're quite happy to use slang and shortened words in reports, such as 'Three Aussies were caught in the Earthquake'.

Can you imagine Trevor Macdonald saying 'Four Brits were involved'?

The papers are the same. Today I read that 'The Firefighters Union has warned that a smokey could die if new radios were rushed into use.'

A smokey?

Also, on the public information front, there is a current campaign about sun protection (Australia has the highest rate of skin cancer in the world, thanks to the big hole in the ozone layer above them).

The campaign goes 'Slip, slop, slap and slide' or something. It's about sun safety and means slip on a shirt, slop on some sunscreen, slap on a hat (hmm, not sure that really works to be honest) and slide on some sunglasses.

This means lots of people here are wearing shades. And girls look better in shades, so I am beginning to suspect it's actually a campaign to get women to look nicer. I'm looking forward to the next stage of the campaign...

'Slip, slop, slap and slide. And pop on some heels and a nice skirt whilst your at it eh love?'

Actually, I just read that one third of Australians over the age of 55 have some kind of cataract as a result of the sun. Fucking hell, that's a lot.

Now where did I put my sunglasses?

And finally - the caring face of Australia.

Oh, and I'm about to move on to Sydney, so normal service may be a little disrupted. Please be patient.

posted by Peter The Great @ 7:47 AM