The Archive

Hell is other people

Good news everyone, the coyote hat went down so well I have some more super gift ideas for you from here.

That's right, first it's the gift shop from Hell, literally. Although that does make you wonder where they located it, because to my knowledge gift shops are always put at the exit, but I thought there was no exit from the underworld.

Anyway, how good is the Skull and Bone toilet brush holder? Imagine, you've finished the pentagram in the living room, the dungeon is now suitably gloomy, the blood of virgins adorns your bedroom. Then you pop to the loo and think 'Hmmm, the marine life motif is all very well, but it's not very satanic in here. I know, I'll add a skull toilet brush holder. Perfect.'


Now in truth, turning your enemies' skulls into toilet brush holders would be a fabulous final indignity to heap upon them. But you know what? I can't help but suspect they aren’t real skulls or bones. Don’t know why, maybe it’s the comedy Satan clock on offer above it. The big red smiley demon ticking away doesn’t say ‘Bow down before the dark lord’ so much as ‘Finish your tea quickly or you’ll be late for work’.

But that's not all that's available. There's also a selection of satanic coasters, presumably because true hell is mug rings on your mahogany coffee table.

I also love the bright, breezy language of the site. The air fresheners are a nice touch, "Toss out that damn pine tree and treat yourself to our collection of sinfully sensational air fresheners." A good idea for sure, but what to choose? ‘Eau de brimstone’ ‘Burning flesh and sandalwood’ or the ever-popular ‘Satan’s anus’. Decisions, decisions.

Also don't forget to "Check out our evil collection of temporary tattoos,". Yes, how satanic can you get?

"Fear me, for I have adhesive body art."


I don't think the Prince of Darkness would be impressed somehow. But a perfect gift for the satanist, teenager or moron in your life.

posted by Peter The Great @ 10:52 AM