The Archive

Diseasey peasy

Just a quickie today. It seems those wacky scientists have taken a horrific and fatal illness that had previously died out and recreated it so it’s alive and well again.

mad scientists revive horrid fatal disease.

Now I’m all in favour of demented scientists in hilltop castles doing this sort of thing, preferably whilst cackling insanely and muttering ‘and they said I was mad…’ but this was the work of proper, bona fide scientists.

Things have clearly gone badly wrong with someone’s career path. Surely life in the lab started with the thought ‘I want to cure cancer’ or suchlike. So how did they morph from that noble aim into ‘I quite fancy reviving a deadly flu virus’?

I have a theory on this. Scientists being mostly male, are as competitive as the rest of us. Denied the chance to win anything sporting because of their thick glasses and nerdy teeth (to coin a stereotype), they compete in the lab.

So you get the virologists chatting at conference, and suddenly a ‘my virus is more deadly than your virus’ bragging match begins. Chastened, the loser rushes off to his test tubes, vowing never to be humiliated again, and begins work.

Or maybe it’s not that at all. Perhaps it’s like those ‘they don’t make them like they used to’ conversations we have about sweets from our childhood.

"Remember Texan bars? They were lovely."
"Oh yeah. And Spangles. Great stuff. I wish you could still buy them."

And sooner or later someone makes it happen with a great website for retro sweeties.

It’s the same for the men in white coats. Only for them it’s all a bit more, well, diseasy.

"Remember Spanish Flu? Now that, my friends, was a real disease. A killer."
"Oh yeah. Beats the shit out of today’s Avian bollocks. These flus don’t kill like they used to."

And sooner or later...

Expect revivals of other classic diseases soon.

Also in the news, the ‘excitement’ that is the race to be the next Tory leader. The speeches have all been made at conference and the Guardian reports that…

"[David Davis’] discomfort was compounded by a better-than-expected speech by his rival for rightwing Tory votes, Liam Fox. The shadow foreign secretary won a more enthusiastic standing ovation than Mr Davis, louder than David Cameron's and as long as Ken Clarke's."

Is it just me, or does it seem like the election of what could (albeit in a world gone mad) be the next Prime Minister is being conducted by clapometer?

posted by Peter The Great @ 9:40 AM