The Archive

Taking Care Of The Machine

When I’m not happy, I find I shut down emotionally. Now, because I’m a guy already, I’m pretty stunted in that department to begin with. But still, I have feelings, and when all is not going well, they get trussed up, an orange ball shoved in their mouth and locked in a trunk

Now that leaves me, unsurprisingly, feeling a little numb. So what to do? If you listen to that voice in your head, this lack of feeling simply shows how pointless life is, and you can end it all.

Don't do that.

Instead, take a step back. Try to realise that as with all things this will pass, so Take Care Of the Machine.

This simply means understanding that whilst your feelings are eating their half time oranges, you need to keep the body going for when they return, refreshed for the second half, which will no doubt feature a dramatic equaliser and thrilling last minute goal for victory.

In practical terms, this means.

1. Stop drinking. I know, I know. It’s radical stuff, but Mr Smirnoff has a knack for unpicking the lock on the emotions closet and soon unauthorised feelings are roaming around all over the shop. So save the boozing for later.
   
   
2. Exercise. This will not only give you the endorphin boost to slightly compensate for the not boozing, it will also mean your body might even be in better shape when your emotions return. I have started running again. This is good, in that I am going to get back to fitness. It’s also bad as I now have a blister on my blister. And that’s not a joke. I literally have a blister nested in another blister. If you don’t believe me, ask my flatmates, as they have the good fortune to have me waving my grotesque foot in their faces every half hour asking ‘how does it look now’.
   
   
3. Do something. I’ve decided to learn the guitar. This is totally excellent as every hour spent concentrating on the fretboard with my tongue hanging out of my mouth like a labrador in a speeding Volvo is an hour when I’m not thinking about ‘the problem’. (Yes, I know, the emotions are in cold storage, but you can’t stop thinking can you? Unless you’re a Scientologist or something)
   

So there it is. Not much of a recipe for happiness, but that’s not the point. It’s survival. And it’s best to survive, as you never know what’s around the next corner. It could be more shit, of course, but then again, it could be gold.

Jesus Christ, I just read that last paragraph back and it reads like a Jerry Springer final thought. Sorry.

Anyway. Have a nice day everyone.

And yes, I realise this post isn’t funny, but in case you didn’t read it, the emotions are in storage, so fuck you, I don’t give a shit.

posted by Peter The Great @ 9:23 PM