The Archive

Jeepers creepers

You know how the Brits are always going on about how over-the-top and emotional Americans are? Well if you’re one of these people, how about this for a bit of Victorian-style, stiff-upper-lip understatement? And from a Floridan no less.

Jeep plane fix story thing (sorry, I’m hungover and can’t think of a good tag for that)

Basically some bloke’s flying a Cessna and he realises his undercarriage isn’t coming down (insert your own hilarious Viagra-themed gag here if you must). So he radios the control tower who decide the best way to fix this hi-tech, twenty first century problem is this: they tell the pilot to slow to almost stalling speed and fly very, very low. They then send a couple of guys out in a jeep to drive under the plane at eighty miles an hour, whacking at the undercarriage with a stick.

It takes an expert to think of this stuff you know.

Best of all, it actually works, and everyone lives happily ever after. No, that’s not the best part. The best part is the dry wit of New Smyrna Beach spokesperson Shannon Lewis, who said, "It's not something, from a safety standpoint, we would promote under normal circumstances."

No, indeed it isn't. And that’s why you, Shannon Lewis, win the ‘It’s been a bit blowy in New Orleans’ Understatement of the Week award.

Meanwhile, in other news, Jennifer Aniston is ready to start dating again. Apparently, when asked by Oprah if she was ready to meet a new man, the Friend whose occasional perky nipples made me a regular viewer looked at her watch in a jokey manner and replied, "Yes!"

Now first off, I’m wondering how you look at your watch in a jokey manner. I’ve tried it a few times, and every time it comes out as ‘just looking at your watch’. Try it at home. See? Not so easy is it? Although it must be admitted I am not an accomplished comic actress like dear old Jen.

Secondly, this is great news. She’s finally ready for me. So if it all goes quiet on the blog front and you begin reading reports of ‘Friends actress attends Emmys with mystery man in tow’ you’ll know what happened.

Ok, it might be ‘with mystery man following her around until bouncers intervene’ but that’s a minor detail. After all, it’s not stalking if you really love them.

Wish me luck.

posted by Peter The Great @ 11:11 AM