The Archive

Hell is other people. With pitchforks

I found myself totally lacking ideas this morning. So I had a quick trawl through some other people’s blogs looking for inspiration. And by inspiration I do mean material to steal, reformat and claim as my own.

So now I know what other people write in their blogs.

Fuck.

Now I realise it’s self-expression and that most people are blogging to please themselves, but even if that’s true, this guy must still be boring his audience to tears.

That day will surely come for this man that he clicks onto his blog, looks over his back catalogue of ‘picures of my lunch’ and realises it’s time to end it all.

Unfortunately, judging by his picture, he won’t have any razor blades in the house to do the deed, so he’ll either have to jump out of the window (it looks pretty high up from the pictures) or get run over by one of his buses.

But then he’s faced with the dilemma, which bus to get run over by. I suspect the resulting indecisiveness will mean he’ll finally die of natural causes.

Then again, I just had another look at his blog and have started to wonder about a number of things.

1. Is it, in fact, me that’s the problem? Maybe this is a cuttingly insightful satirical website that I am too stupid to understand.
   
   
2. Should I be concerned that, in all probability, this man has more readers than I do.
   
   
3. What is the current maximum penalty for setting fire to an old man’s beard?
   

If you have answers to any of these, let me know.

And yes, I realise it’s cruel and unnecessary to mock this man’s innocent hobby. But bear in mind that I am a mean-spirited arse and suddenly it all makes sense. Besides, does the old beardy man give a shit what I think of his blog? Probably not.

Still, if you’re reading this old man, sorry. It’s just a joke.

posted by Peter The Great @ 10:50 AM