The Archive

Check mate

Congratulations to the animal of the day the yellow footed antechinus.

This little marsupial apparently mates only once a year (boo) but when the time comes, manages an impressive 12 hour shagging session (hurray).

The only drawback for the poor creature is that, at the end of all this activity, the male dies.

Now I have friends who will do a lot to get out of cuddling and talking after sex but this is taking it to extremes. Really, could the antechinus not just sneak out at 5am and leave a note like everyone else? Or maybe that’s another species – the soft footed, yellow bellied antechinus.

At first I felt sorry for the little thing. After all, there’s no faking it under those conditions is there? But then I started wondering, is it better to die ancient and wrinkly, complaining that the nurses are stealing your aniseed balls when you’re not looking? Or would you rather die in your prime at the end of a marathon shag?

I also particularly admired the strangely specific nature of its nest building. If this website is to be believed, this animal "has tendencies to build nests in television sets and lounge chairs."

Is it just me, or does that conjure up an image of the marsupial slouched in a reclining armchair, wearing a string vest with a beer in one hand and a fag in the other, watching television?

Well it is Australian isn’t it?

posted by Peter The Great @ 9:46 AM