The Archive

Hypno-tit

I’ve found the perfect entertainer. Dr McGill . He bills himself as a hypnotist, therapist, entertainer and, most importantly, a mentalist.

Sure, they probably don’t use the term mentalist in the US like we do in the UK (that’s crazy person, for all my American readers). But really, it gives you something to think about doesn’t it?

Wouldn’t it be great to bill yourself as a mentalist and hire out for corporate functions? Then, when you’ve got a job, you could just wander around the stage drinking out of a paper bag and muttering insanely under your breath. Or you could stare wildly out into the audience shouting ‘what are you looking at? Eh? EH? MOTHER WAS RIGHT ABOUT ALL OF YOU!”

Now that’s entertainment.

Then again, Dr McGill himself isn’t exactly the essence of showbiz does he? He looks like an off-duty dentist and his ‘mystic hands’ pose when bending forks is positively embarrassing.

And finally, even by his own admission, his hypnotism show sucks. “With the utmost courtesy and without causing any embarrassment, Dr. McGill always maintains the highest respect for his volunteers.”

What is the fucking point of that? Surely you go to hypnotism shows in the hope that your mate gets picked and made to think he’s a racehorse, wet himself in front of hundreds of people, or confess to killing that prostitute.

Or maybe that’s just me.

posted by Peter The Great @ 11:06 AM