The Archive

Get stuffed

At the moment, I’m editing a leaflet that a company is intending to send out to people whose pets have died. In the draft version they sent me, I have stumbled across a sentence that has a poetic beauty to it…

“To do the correct thing is a difficult decision but one that we ourselves must ultimately make.”

It really has nothing to do with dying pets, but it seems like the writer has accidentally stumbled upon a great philosophical truth without noticing.

Also, whilst hunting for information on pet death, like you do, I stumbled across a number of entries listing a taxidermist who will make your pet into a pillow. Naturally, I checked the site to find out two things:

1. Jeanette’s taxidermy no longer does pet pillows, if it ever did.
2. Jeanette the taxidermist is HOT!

Now that I've realised I fancy the arse off a taxidermist, I feel a bit weird about the whole thing.

I mean, would you really want to hook up with someone who is so comfortable around death? And what happens if it worked out and you ended up married for life? Wouldn’t you be dogged by the sneaking suspicion that if you died first, you’d end up stuffed and mounted in the hallway?

So on reflection, sorry Jeanette, but it’s not going to happen.

I don’t want to end up as a hatstand.

posted by Peter The Great @ 11:40 AM